conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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