So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He shit in the fireplace
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize