butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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