Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
