i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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