i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
