why im i the only drunk person in the library?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
