brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize