but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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