he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
