If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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