if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
