I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
