im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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