In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
