STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
