just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
