I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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