Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize