PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
