I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
