She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
