I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
