what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
