Buhtt sex?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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