I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
