There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
