JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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