I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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