I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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