38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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