I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
