It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
