did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
honey bunches of taint.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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