Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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