Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
