I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
