Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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