Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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