I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
