If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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