You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
