if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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