Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize