its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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