party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
