My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
