He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
