I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
