Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
