No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
