a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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