Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You are the jesus of drinking
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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