Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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