So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
