Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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