Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
