Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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