My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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