Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
