I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
