Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
