After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
